Debt

I feel like things are closing in on me. I have so much stress it almost literally weighs something. Not only the feeling of it, but actual weight on my body. Do you ever think that possibly you just may explode, or even implode?? Everyone looks to me as this rock they can count on. I am sick of it. Unplug from my brain would you!?!? The link up is surely complete by now, please leave me alone. I am so tired of the constant stress. I do not think I can even cope with my own existence sometimes. To add to the constant stress of it I hate our debt. It makes me so upset I want to run. I want to just move. Maybe after a couple years they would find me, but those years would surely be better right?? I hate the fucking IRS. I am so tired of owing those mother fuckers anything. I am so sad that I work so hard, and I pay. Meanwhile, a guy at my work has 5 kids is on welfare, and got nearly 10thousand back this year. So let me get this straight...You work one job, your wife stays at home with the kids, I pay taxes for your food and medical throughout the year, literally supporting you....Now at the end of the year I pay, and even though you paid 500 to federal you get back 10 thousand??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? Would someone please send me a few bucks so I can pay off all my bills and do away with this stress monster?? THANks!!

What is "full" ?

In my travels to try to eat less, and eat better I have stumbled upon the state of "full". I guess up until now for me "full" is a place where you may need to unbutton your jeans. "full" means laying in bed miserable, barely able to turn over, having to eat tums to control my out of control indigestion. "full" is the most wonderfully miserable place that I know. Lately, in trying to eat better and cut my portions I am never "full". By my old expectations that feeling has yet to creep anywhere into my psyche. How is it that you train your old fat brain that you have eaten enough and you truly are "full". I suppose the new me may become full instead of "full". Perhaps I will someday come to realize that it is OK to not be miserable after eating. After all, we cannot live without the big demon food. Somewhere I need to learn the lesson that full and satisfied are truly the same thing. I suppose this is try number 256,000 to actually do something about my big ass. What a frigging struggle. Hopefully one of these days I just may do it, and hopefully try number 256,000 is the last one I need. Alas, If it's not, my butt will stay big and Jeff will continue to love it, and for that I am pissed, and so damned grateful. Six pounds down today......Go me!!!!